Cantapfad is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, irritating otter.

Cantapfad created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cantapfad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cantapfad, it will remove you from existence.

Cantapfad's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Cantapfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Never bounce in the presence of tapirs.

3. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not commit murder.