Ragtettitun is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonest badger.

Ragtettitun created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ragtettitun, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Ragtettitun, he will not care at all.

Ragtettitun's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Ragtettitun's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Ragtettitun's priests.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Do not chop down trees.