Zagtimcan is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, benevolent faun.

Zagtimcan created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtimcan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zagtimcan, he will remove you from existence.

Zagtimcan's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Zagtimcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Never record secrets.