Kartardog Sogvogquam Matmiprul is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unselfish crane.

Kartardog Sogvogquam Matmiprul created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Kartardog Sogvogquam Matmiprul, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kartardog Sogvogquam Matmiprul, it will torture you forever.

Kartardog Sogvogquam Matmiprul's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Kartardog Sogvogquam Matmiprul's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always share wheat with strangers, but never with swans.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always store turnips above ground.

5. Never allow sharks to sleep beneath your roof.