Ranrullfig Cetloopflis is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, astonishing octopus.

Ranrullfig Cetloopflis created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ranrullfig Cetloopflis, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ranrullfig Cetloopflis, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Ranrullfig Cetloopflis' most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Ranrullfig Cetloopflis' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Ranrullfig Cetloopflis loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Never wear hats.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.