Gumxucsog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, tiresome mongoose.

Gumxucsog created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Gumxucsog, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gumxucsog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gumxucsog's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Gumxucsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your back toward the west during prayer.

2. Always count to three before sleeping.

3. Always obey Gumxucsog's priests.

4. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

5. Never talk about nucleic acids.