Dagdobveg Fitbapbin is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, confident bat.

Dagdobveg Fitbapbin created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagdobveg Fitbapbin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dagdobveg Fitbapbin, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dagdobveg Fitbapbin's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Dagdobveg Fitbapbin's Holy Commandments

1. Dagdobveg Fitbapbin loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

2. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

5. Never look in ponds.