Safgonpig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, dishonourable snake.

Safgonpig created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Safgonpig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Safgonpig, he will laugh at you.

Safgonpig's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Safgonpig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never write about dark matter.

3. Hide if eight mites approach from the north.

4. Never feed beans to gulls while wearing shorts.

5. Do not hurt nematodes.