Stigtarmapbog is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, uncaring swan.

Stigtarmapbog created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigtarmapbog, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Stigtarmapbog, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Stigtarmapbog's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Stigtarmapbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Hide from mauve seals for they are unholy.

4. Stigtarmapbog loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

5. Always stare at clouds.