Latontzan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, confident walrus.

Latontzan created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Latontzan, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Latontzan, she will destroy your favourite star.

Latontzan's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Latontzan's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry swans.

2. Do not sprint at forests.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.

5. Learn six new languages a year.