Disshavhan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, tiresome elephant.

Disshavhan created the planet Venus nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Disshavhan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Disshavhan, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Disshavhan's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Disshavhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not consume spinach at dawn.

4. Erect six nickel sculptures of Disshavhan on top of important buildings.

5. Monkeys are not to be trusted.