Loplamflap is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, quiet crow.

Loplamflap created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Loplamflap, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Loplamflap, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Loplamflap's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Loplamflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in summer.

2. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

3. Never allow dogs to witness sacred rites.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Always act with patience.