Kapvegxem is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, almighty sheep.

Kapvegxem created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapvegxem, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kapvegxem, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Kapvegxem's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Kapvegxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to seven before sleeping.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always remove shirts before touching zinc.

4. Always obey Kapvegxem's priests.

5. Kapvegxem must be the most important thing in your life.