Hogtomflan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, sapient skunk.

Hogtomflan created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogtomflan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hogtomflan, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Hogtomflan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Hogtomflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch water while blessed.

2. Always help shrews in need.

3. Remain kneeling during prayer.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Never gather three aardvarks in one place.