Hamsafflis is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, thoughtless rat.

Hamsafflis created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamsafflis, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hamsafflis, she will think nothing of it.

Hamsafflis' most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Hamsafflis' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hamsafflis.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never eat nuts on holy days.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.