Habbabkem is a god.

It takes the form of a small, passionate gerbil.

Habbabkem created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Habbabkem, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Habbabkem, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Habbabkem's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Habbabkem's Holy Commandments

1. Put Habbabkem first in all things.

2. Always cleanse water with water.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near ants while wearing yellow coats.

4. Never point your chest toward the north during prayer.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.