Tabsakpad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, resourceful jellyfish.

Tabsakpad created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Tabsakpad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tabsakpad, he will turn you into a plant.

Tabsakpad's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tabsakpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

3. Feed all hungry ants.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about moons.