Stantondag is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, fussy beaver.

Stantondag created the planet Saturn two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stantondag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Stantondag, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Stantondag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Stantondag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight silver sculptures of Stantondag on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near turtles while wearing green shoes.

3. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

4. Never fashion tools from wood.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.