Gomrowzag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, blissful jaguar.

Gomrowzag created Mount Everest eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gomrowzag, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gomrowzag, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gomrowzag's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Gomrowzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think ill of sick badgers.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always take life seriously.