Bimjapcanmiprenkab Flattagdossand is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, bad-tempered weasel.

Bimjapcanmiprenkab Flattagdossand created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimjapcanmiprenkab Flattagdossand, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bimjapcanmiprenkab Flattagdossand, she will turn you into a frog.

Bimjapcanmiprenkab Flattagdossand's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bimjapcanmiprenkab Flattagdossand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never hurt mites.

3. Never talk about dark energy near birds while wearing red jumpers.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bimjapcanmiprenkab Flattagdossand on top of all buildings.

5. Never prepare spinach during autumn.