Nurjonquamzen is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, impressive mink.

Nurjonquamzen created the Black Eye Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurjonquamzen, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurjonquamzen, she will turn you into a slug.

Nurjonquamzen's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Nurjonquamzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from clay.

2. Never run near geese.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. You must pray to Nurjonquamzen nine times a day.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.