Labmatgan is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, capable turtle.

Labmatgan created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Labmatgan, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Labmatgan, it will torture you forever.

Labmatgan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Labmatgan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help great tits.

2. Never eat tomatoes on holy days.

3. Never think ill of sick foxes.

4. Never think about photosynthesis.

5. Never think about asteroids.