Kammittag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, compassionate seal.

Kammittag created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kammittag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kammittag, he will strike you with lightening.

Kammittag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Kammittag's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kammittag.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not eat nuts.

4. Never approach rivers carrying bone.

5. Never look in ponds.