Fubbuthogbomyak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tranquil gorilla.

Fubbuthogbomyak created a strange quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubbuthogbomyak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fubbuthogbomyak, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fubbuthogbomyak's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Fubbuthogbomyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Never feed figs to nematodes while wearing boots.

3. Never prepare nuts during autumn.

4. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

5. You must love Fubbuthogbomyak.