Nurlcenlan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omnipotent gorilla.

Nurlcenlan created the Black Eye Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlcenlan, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nurlcenlan, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Nurlcenlan's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Nurlcenlan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured porpoises.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

3. Never talk about gravity near whales while wearing magenta shorts and balancing eight carbon spheres on your legs.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never play with disobedient children.