Spagyaksan is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, witless naga.

Spagyaksan created a strange quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagyaksan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Spagyaksan, it will destroy your home planet.

Spagyaksan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Spagyaksan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never feed limes to ants while wearing black skirts.

3. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

4. Run away if seven voles approach from the east.

5. Never run in the presence of mites.