Figfatfab is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, generous ferret.

Figfatfab created the Small Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figfatfab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Figfatfab, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Figfatfab's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Figfatfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist fate.

2. Never mix strawberries with water.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never stain your head with white.

5. Worship no other gods but Figfatfab.