Batlimrak is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful hyena.

Batlimrak created the Sol system four years ago.

If you believe in Batlimrak, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Batlimrak, it will make you grow a tail.

Batlimrak's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Batlimrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight cats in one place.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never point your legs toward the west during prayer.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.