Monwapcub is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, duplicitous crane.

Monwapcub created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Monwapcub, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Monwapcub, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Monwapcub's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Monwapcub's Holy Commandments

1. Always share oranges with strangers, but never with doves.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Shun those given to sloth.