Tikhinjan is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, merciful manatee.

Tikhinjan created the Black Eye Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikhinjan, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tikhinjan, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tikhinjan's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tikhinjan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Never travel toward the east during winter.

3. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Tikhinjan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near pigs while wearing blue shorts and balancing seven lead spheres on your legs.