Hintarp is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, stupid hippopotamus.

Hintarp created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hintarp, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hintarp, he will turn you into a duck.

Hintarp's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Hintarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics.

2. You must love Hintarp.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never hurt gulls.