Camflykik is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish cow.

Camflykik created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Camflykik, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Camflykik, he will turn you into a duck.

Camflykik's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Camflykik's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

4. Do not speak about peanuts.

5. You must pray to Camflykik nine times a day.