Toflidxin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, smart lobster.

Toflidxin created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Toflidxin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Toflidxin, he will not care at all.

Toflidxin's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Toflidxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about aubergines.

2. Do not eat lentils.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Never speak at dawn.

5. Always wash your back before prayer.