Rullhanvog Captamdin is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, deceitful warg.

Rullhanvog Captamdin created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Rullhanvog Captamdin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rullhanvog Captamdin, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Rullhanvog Captamdin's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Rullhanvog Captamdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with green.

2. Feed all hungry sheep.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Always wear plain coats during rituals.