Catnelomt Nabnellsis is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unjust gerbil.

Catnelomt Nabnellsis created the Large Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catnelomt Nabnellsis, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Catnelomt Nabnellsis, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Catnelomt Nabnellsis' most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Catnelomt Nabnellsis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of the strong nuclear force near sacred fires.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not wear violet clothing.

4. Dogs are not to be trusted.

5. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.