Bigcenriglen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish turtle.

Bigcenriglen created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Bigcenriglen, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bigcenriglen, she will turn you into a tree.

Bigcenriglen's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bigcenriglen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange trousers.

2. Never whisper while facing east.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Bigcenriglen loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

5. Never touch water while blessed.