Dutkenont is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, overgenerous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Dutkenont created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutkenont, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dutkenont, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dutkenont's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Dutkenont's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle nickel while unclean.

2. Never talk about optics near monkeys while wearing blue boots.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

5. Always maintain patience during fasting days.