Sandhamsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous guinea pig.

Sandhamsaf created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandhamsaf, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sandhamsaf, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sandhamsaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Sandhamsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Do not eat cherries.

3. Run away if eight badgers approach from the north.

4. Hide if three frogs approach from the south.

5. Fast once a month.