Fotsan Gesspogwod is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, sage squirrel.

Fotsan Gesspogwod created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotsan Gesspogwod, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fotsan Gesspogwod, it will curse you with boils.

Fotsan Gesspogwod's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Fotsan Gesspogwod's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain ear rings during rituals.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

5. Never think about asteroids.