Vegrulpassawmil is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, slow centipede.

Vegrulpassawmil created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vegrulpassawmil, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vegrulpassawmil, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Vegrulpassawmil's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Vegrulpassawmil's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Always act with obedience.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

5. Never adorn your head with purple markings.