Kadortfag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, proud lobster.

Kadortfag created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadortfag, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kadortfag, he will turn you into a mouse.

Kadortfag's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Kadortfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near foxes while wearing black coats.

2. Never talk about rats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Never feed coconuts to grasshopers while wearing cyan kilts.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.