Watlop Wikkipvon Carqueegmutmetkomflamhun is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, fussy monkey.

Watlop Wikkipvon Carqueegmutmetkomflamhun created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watlop Wikkipvon Carqueegmutmetkomflamhun, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Watlop Wikkipvon Carqueegmutmetkomflamhun, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Watlop Wikkipvon Carqueegmutmetkomflamhun's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Watlop Wikkipvon Carqueegmutmetkomflamhun's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility when addressing children.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not contemplate optics during the night.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in black.