Gamtofken is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty coyote.

Gamtofken created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamtofken, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gamtofken, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gamtofken's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gamtofken's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while clean.

2. You must pray to Gamtofken five times a day.

3. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

4. Never allow geese to witness sacred rites.

5. Pray only in moonlight.