Jadlitvag is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering otter.

Jadlitvag created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadlitvag, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jadlitvag, she will turn you into a mole.

Jadlitvag's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Jadlitvag's Holy Commandments

1. Remain prostrate during prayer.

2. Never paint your chest indigo.

3. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not resist order.