Flowgidpig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, all-powerful dog.

Flowgidpig created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flowgidpig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flowgidpig, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flowgidpig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Flowgidpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Never travel toward the east during winter.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Always obey Flowgidpig's priests.