Faswitlog is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, narcissistic dog.

Faswitlog created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Faswitlog, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Faswitlog, it will curse you with boils.

Faswitlog's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Faswitlog's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in firelight.

2. Never fashion tools from clay.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Always store spinach above ground.

5. Always maintain patience during holy days.