Quathamvab is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, contented bat.

Quathamvab created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quathamvab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quathamvab, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Quathamvab's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Quathamvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not wear skirts marked with red.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not resist fate.