Kamcidyak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, calm crocodile.

Kamcidyak created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kamcidyak, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kamcidyak, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kamcidyak's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Kamcidyak's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with joy.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.