Tofgodten is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, blissful jaguar.

Tofgodten created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofgodten, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tofgodten, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tofgodten's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Tofgodten's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not wear rings marked with brown.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. You must love Tofgodten.