Gabfedcid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, smart rhinoceros.

Gabfedcid created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabfedcid, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gabfedcid, it will jump up and down on your head.

Gabfedcid's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gabfedcid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never write about solid mechanics.